Have you ever walked through a season that you didn’t see coming, didn’t understand, or weren’t prepared for? Did it shake your faith, did it cause you to stumble, or did it make you fall on your face before God? Did the Holy Spirit seem silent, did you feel like you were fighting battles alone, and were you challenged to believe God without feeling anything? I’ve been there!
I have walked with the Lord for 49 years and like any relationship there have been extreme times of joy and great revelation as well as pits of despair and trial. I’ve experienced starry-eyed love with Jesus, visions and dreams into the heavenly realm, being courted by the Holy Spirit, and free flowing conversations with God. I’ve also experienced seasons of great challenges like sickness close to death, children who break your heart, financial challenges, Judas betrayals, physical moves across the world and the more mundane ups and downs of life.
But never had I experienced such a level of satanic assault against my life as I did in 2019 and it lasted for several years. I was not prepared for it at all! All I can tell you is that it started with this prayer, “Lord would you make me rock solid in my identity?”
Almost immediately after praying that heartfelt prayer, I began to have assaults on everything associated with my identity! I began seeing in the realm of darkness, I could see demons and how they were working on people, I could see their strategies, and I could sense their evil presence. And right after that we received the news that one of our precious children had swallowed the deception of demons and turned to walk in darkness. It was heart shattering.
But the journey didn’t end there. It was just the beginning. Was this journey God’s design or Satan's? YES. Did God lead me into this wilderness experience or did the devil?
“Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil” (Matthew 4:1). One force had a plan to take me down while the other had a plan to transform my whole life! Throughout this season God has been unveiling spiritual insights to me and understanding I could not have come to know any other way. This wilderness season is designed to make you wander around looking for living water, to seek shelter from the hot sun, and to cause you to yearn for a map that will lead you out. The Word of God, both the living word Jesus, and the written word, the Bible, becomes the map that you treasure with every fiber of your being! You may feel all alone but you never are for truly the Lord says,
“I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]! (Hebrews 13:5 - AMP).